Dwarf basics
- Ringo Flinthammer
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I'm going to load up this thread with as much dwarf lore as anyone might ever need. Everyone else is encouraged to add what they want as well. This isn't so much of a "how to play a dwarf" as it is "some ideas on how to play a dwarf, if you're interested."
Last edited by Ringo Flinthammer on 10 Nov 2004 02:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Ringo Flinthammer
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Wikipedia's big dwarf encyclopedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwarf
- Ringo Flinthammer
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The inimitable Terry Pratchett on dwarves:
"You appear to be of the dwarf persuasion."
Cheery didn't bother to answer. There was no use denying it. Somehow, people could tell if you were a dwarf just by looking at you.
"I thought dwarfs hardly recognized the difference between male and female, anyway. Half the dwarfs we bring in here on a No. 23 are female, I know that, and they're the ones that are hardest to subdue..."
"What's a No. 23?"
"'Running Screaming At People While Drunk and Trying to Cut Their Knees off'," said Angua.
"I'm scared of fights! I think songs about gold are stupid! I hate beer! I can't even drink dwarfishly! When I try to quaff I drown the dwarf behind me!"
By now, if it had been a dwarf bar, the floor would be sticky with beer, the air would be full of flying quaff, and people would be singing. They'd probably be singing the latest dwarf tune, Gold, Gold, Gold, or one of the old favourites, like Gold, Gold, Gold, or the all-time biggie, Gold, Gold, Gold.
"I thought dwarfs loved gold," said Angua.
"They just say that to get it into bed."
There's a dwarfish saying: "All trees are felled at ground-level" -- although this is said to be an excessively bowdlerized translation for a saw which more literally means, "When his hands are higher than your head, his groin is level with your teeth."
...many dwarf battle cries didn't bother with words. They went straight for emotions in sonic form.
Angua: "What did she yell?"
Carrot: "It's the most menacing dwarf battle cry there is! Once it's been shouted someone has to be killed!"
Angua: "What's it mean?"
Carrot: "Today Is A Good Day For Someone Else To Die!"
The dwarf halls rang to the sound of hammers, although mainly for effect. Dwarves found it hard to think without the sound of hammers, which they found soothing, so well-off dwarves in the clerical professions paid goblins to hit small ceremonial anvils, just to maintain the correct dwarvish image.
When you spend a large part of your life underground, you develop a very literal mind. Dwarfs have no use for metaphor and simile. Rocks are hard, the darkness is dark. Start messing around with descriptions like that and you're in big trouble, is their motto.
"I shall write to their king."
"I don't think they have a king there," said Varneshi. "Just some man who tells them what to do."
The king of the dwarfs took this calmly. This seemed to be about ninety-seven per cent of the definition of kingship, as far as he was concerned.
All dwarfs are by nature dutiful, serious, literate, obedient and thoughtful people whose only minor failing is a tendency, after one drink, to rush at enemies screaming "Arrrrrrgh!" and axing their legs off at the knee.
No-one knows why dwarfs, who at home in the mountains lead quiet, orderly lives, forget it all when they move to the big city. Something comes over even the most blameless iron-ore miner and prompts him to wear chain-mail all the time, carry an axe, change his name to something like Grabthroat Shinkicker and drink himself into surly oblivion.
After all, probably the first thing a young dwarf wants to do when he hits the big city after seventy years of working for his father at the bottom of a pit is have a big drink and then hit someone.
Dwarfs are very attached to gold. Any highwayman demanding "Your money or your life" had better bring a folding chair and packed lunch and a book to read while the debate goes on.
There were such things as dwarf gods. Dwarfs were not a naturally religious species, but in a world where pit props could crack without warning and pockets of fire damp could suddenly explode they'd seen the need for gods as the sort of supernatural equivalent of a hard hat. Besides, when you hit your thumb with an eight-pound hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "Oh, random-fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!"
Dibbler: "[People] want dancing girls! They want frills! They want elephants! They want people falling off roofs! They want dreams! The world is full of little people with big dreams!"
Victor: "What, you mean like dwarfs and gnomes and so on?"
"I want to make this absolutely clear, right? One more, and I really mean it, one more, right? just one more Hihohiho out of you bloody lawn ornaments and it's double-headed axe time, okay? We're dwarfs, godsdammit. So act like them. And that includes you, Dozy!"
Poons passed goblin delicatessens and dwarf bars, from which came the sounds of singing and fighting, which dwarfs traditionally did at the same time.
Whereas Gloria was banned from Sport because of her tendency to use her ax in a threatening manner. Miss Butts had suggested that an ax wasn't a ladylike weapon, even for a dwarf, but Gloria had pointed out that, on the contrary, it had been left to her by her grandmother, who had owned it all her life and polished it every Saturday, even if she hadn't used it at all that week.
There was an old dwarf legend about the famous Horn of Furgle, which sounded itself when danger was near and also in the presence, for some reason, of horseradish.
Gortlick and Hammerjug were songwriters ... They wrote dwarf songs for all occassions.
Some people say this is not hard to do so long as you can remember how to spell "Gold," but this is a little bit cynical. Many dwarf songs are on the lines of "Gold, gold, gold" but it's all in the inflection.
(Footnote: All right -- all dwarf songs. Except the one about hiho.)
Dwarfs have thousands of words for "gold" but will use any of them in an emergency, such as when they see some gold that doesn't belong to them.
"It's the gold, isn't it?" said Asphalt. "Admit it. You're holding onto the gold."
"Idiot dwarf!" shouted Cliff. "Let it go or we're going to die!"
"Letting go of five thousand dollars is dying," said Glod.
"Er, I think you can assume, sir, that any dwarf who rises sufficiently in dwarf society to even be considered as a candidate for the kingship did not get there by singing the hi-ho song and bandaging wounded animals in the forest."
Vimes: "I don't get it, Cheery. There's all this fuss about a female dwarf trying to act like, like--"
Cheery: "A lady, sir?"
Vimes: "Right, and yet no one says anything about Carrot being called a dwarf, but he's a human--"
Cheery: "No, sir. Like he says, he's a dwarf. He was adopted by the dwarfs, he's performed the Y'grad, he observes the j'kargra insofar as that's possible in a city. He's a dwarf."
Vimes: "He's six foot high!"
Cheery: "He's a tall dwarf, sir. We don't mind if he wants to be a human as well."
There were plenty of dwarfs around now who had been born in Ankh-Morpork. Their kids went around with their helmets on back to front and spoke dwarfish only at home. Many of them wouldn't know a pick-axe if you hit them with it. (Footnote: At least, if you hit them hard enough.)
"I mean, he's been a copper longer than anyone in the Watch," said Nobby.
One of the dwarfs said something in dwarfish. There were a few smiles from the shorter Watchmen.
"What was that?" said Nobby.
"Well, roughly translated," said Stronginthearm, "'My bum has been a bum for a very long time but I don't have to listen to anything it says.'"
A couple of what Vimes thought of as the heavy dwarfs stepped through and gave everyone the official, professional look which said that for your comfort and convenience we have decided not to kill you right at this very moment.
"Carrot! I've got to know something."
"Yes?"
"That might happen to me. Have you ever thought about that? He was my brother, after all. Being two things at the same time, and never quite being one ... we're not the most stable of creatures."
"Gold and muck come out of the same shaft."
"That's just a dwarf saying!"
"It's true, though."
No one can look harder than a dwarf. Perhaps it's because there is only quite a small amount of face between the statutory round iron helmet and the beard. Dwarf expressions are more concentrated.
"You didn't tell me about the dwarfs!"
"Do you mind?"
"Oh, no. Dwarfs are very law-abiding and respectable, in my experience."
William now realized that he was talking to a girl who had never been in certain streets when the bars were closing.
It was dwarfish swearing, and it meant that the swearer was not only alive but angry too.
It was a traditional dwarf ax. One side was a pickax, for the extraction of interesting minerals, and the other side was a war ax, because the people who own the land with the valuable minerals in it can be so unreasonable sometimes.
It was said of the dwarfs that they cared more about things like iron and gold than they did about people, because there was only a limited supply of iron and gold in the world whereas there seemed to be more and more people everywhere you looked.
Pratchett's dwarves are a whole lot more interesting than Tolkein's.[Dwarfs] have no word for rock, in the same way that fish have no words for water. They do have words for igneous rock, sedimentary rock, metamorphic rock, rock underfoot, rock dropping on your helmet from above, and rock which looked interesting and which they could have sworn they left here yesterday. But what they don't have is a word meaning "rock." Show a dwarf a rock and he sees, for example, an inferior piece of crystalline sulphite of barytes.
- Ringo Flinthammer
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Warcraft III dwarves:
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/animations/mountainking.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/animations/rifleman.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/portraits/rifleman.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/animations/flyingmachine.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/portraits/flyingmachine.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/animations/mortarteam.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/portraits/mortarteam.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/animations/siegeengine.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/portraits/siegeengine.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/animations/gryphonrider.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/portraits/gryphon.gif)
The Mountain Kings, or 'Thanes' as they are known in Khaz Modan, are the mightiest Dwarven warriors under the mountain. Wielding both enchanted warhammers and hand axes, these fierce fighters live to test themselves against worthy opponents. Unconcerned with their race's preoccupation with mechanical devices and mining precious minerals, Mountain Kings live only for battle. Dedicated to safeguarding the Alliance which saved their kingdom during the Second War, the Mountain Kings can be counted upon to rally behind any banner that stands between freedom and the ever looming shadow of evil.
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/animations/mountainking.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/portraits/mountainking.gif)
Hero Names: Bor Stonebreaker, Munin Ironcliff, Thorgas Broadaxe, Kelv Sternhammer, Grim Thunderbrew, Buri Frostbeard, Huginn Ironcliff, Thordin Rockbeard, Bandis Forgefire, Gar Doomforge, Beazel Bludstone, Modi Stonesmith, Aggronor the Mighty
The brave Dwarven Riflemen have faithfully protected their mountain kingdom of Khaz Modan for hundreds of years. Yet they have once again offered their weapons and skills to the Alliance of Lordaeron. Using the legendary Single-shot Blunderbuss Longrifles, Riflemen are excellent marksmen and can shoot both land based and airborne opponents.
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/animations/rifleman.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/portraits/rifleman.gif)
Mechanical flying machine flown by a Dwarven pilot.
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/animations/flyingmachine.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/portraits/flyingmachine.gif)
Armed with their innovative exploding shells, the stalwart Mortar Teams of Ironforge are capable of blasting apart enemy ranks from long range. These fearless dwarves are masters of explosive devices and relish in pounding fortified enemy emplacements to dust.
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/animations/mortarteam.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/portraits/mortarteam.gif)
The sturdy Dwarven Siege Engines are a new addition to the Alliance forces. The stalwart Dwarven pilots have even been known to ram enemy structures at high speeds and reduce whole fortifications to dust under the Siege Engines' steel treads.
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/animations/siegeengine.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/portraits/siegeengine.gif)
The wild dwarves of the Aerie Peaks have once again responded to the call and brought their mighty gryphons to aid the besieged Alliance in its time of need. Armed with their trusty, lightning-powered Stormhammers, the hearty dwarves seek to keep the skies of Lordaeron free from enemy forces. The proud gryphons share their riders’ implacable resolve and stand as noble symbols of the Alliance’s fortitude.
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/animations/gryphonrider.gif)
![Image](http://www.battle.net/war3/images/human/units/portraits/gryphon.gif)
One more description of Pratchett dwarves that I like a lot:
Dwarfish society has no religion, but does have gods "just in case". Further details of these gods are not known, with the exception of the trickster, Agi Hammerthief.
This world may be another planet's hell.{Aldous Huxley}
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.{Aldous Huxley}
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.{Aldous Huxley}
- Ringo Flinthammer
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How to swear like a dwarf: http://www.delving.com/swear.html
- Ringo Flinthammer
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RP guide from the Mithril Warhammers (multi-game dwarf guild): http://mithrilwarhammers.org/rpguide.php
Most of the guide is race-neutral, but the author does talk about how he RPs his own dwarf. Notice how RPing is NOT sounding like a lunatic set free at a Renaissance Faire.
![Rolling Eyes :roll:](./images/smilies/roll.gif)
Most of the guide is race-neutral, but the author does talk about how he RPs his own dwarf. Notice how RPing is NOT sounding like a lunatic set free at a Renaissance Faire.
![Rolling Eyes :roll:](./images/smilies/roll.gif)
- Ringo Flinthammer
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Dwarf unit quotes from Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos. These are just the comedic ones -- they had additional ones like "on it" and "I'm yer shooter" when you clicked for them to go somewhere.
http://db.gamefaqs.com/computer/doswin/ ... quotes.txt
http://db.gamefaqs.com/computer/doswin/ ... quotes.txt
GameFAQs wrote:Muradin Bronzebeard
-"My older brother Magni is King of the Dwarves."
-"My younger brother Brann is a reknowned explorer."
-"If I didn't kick so much ass, I'd feel a tad awkward."
-"I'll play your game, you rogue."
-"I'll take 'The Rapists' for 500."
-"I'm onto you Trebek!"
-"Heh heh. Come on, you nancy boy!"
-"You wanna' get the Undead? I'll tell you how to get the Undead. One of their men pulls a knife, your man pulls a gun. They send your man to the hospital, you send their man to the morgue. That's how you get the Undead."
Mountain King
-"Could yeh' put some bonus points in mah' drinkin' skills?"
-"Any fish and chip shops about here?"
-"I think it's time for a... nippy sweetie."
-"What the bloody hell are you playing at?"
-"There's nothin' more motivating than fightin' with a bad hangover."
-"Where's the pub?"
-"LET'S GET PISSED!"
Gryphon Rider
-"Judge meh' by mah' size, do yeh'?"
-"It's not the size of the hammer that count, it's how you wield it."
-"Someone gave meh' the bird!"
-"This warhammer cost 40k, heh heh."
-"Half this beast is endangered, but the other half IS danger."
Gyrocopter
-"Oops, I dropped something." *explosion*
"Stay on target!"
-"I'd rather be flying... uh... oh."
-"You can be my wingman anytime!"
-"Pilot to bombardier! Bombardier here, go ahead pilot."
-"I will now demonstrate the doppler effect." *echoing* "Doppler..."
"There's, something, on, the wing."
-"I'm on a different PLANE of existence. Get it? PLANE!"
Mortar Team
-Dwarf1: "It's you and me pal!"
-Dwarf2: "We've got the synergy."
-Dwarf1: "I'm TNT."
-Dwarf2: "I'm dynamite!"
-Dwarf1: "We must defeat the dwarves!"
-Dwarf2: "Ugh ... We ARE the dwarves."
-Dwarf1: "... Oh."
-Dwarf1: "You've got a chip on yer' shoulder."
-Dwarf2: "Oooh, yes, and a bit of fish too."
-Dwarf1: "And that's how baby dwarves are made."
-Dwarf2: "Gwah!"
-"Clearly Tassadar has failed us. You must not."
-Dwarf1: "What's that?"
-Dwarf2: "Get your finger out of that bunghole."
-*finger popping free*
-*hums* "Burnin', lootin'. Bombin', shootin'."
-"TAKE THIS YOU BASTARD!" *explosion*
Rifleman
-"This... is... my... BOOMSTICK!"
-"Where's meh' drink?"
-"I can't shoot straight unless ah've had a pint."
-"Ah, there's meh' drink. GET IN MAH' BELLY."
-"Guns don't kill people. I DO! HAHA!"
-"Don't shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me!"
-"I shot the sheriff, and the deputy, and your wee doggy too!"
-"You'll take meh' blunderbuss when you PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!"
Last edited by Ringo Flinthammer on 13 Nov 2004 01:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Ringo Flinthammer
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Some dwarf jokes from http://www.delving.com/jokes.html
An Elf walks into a pub and clears his voice to the crowd of dwarven drinkers. He says, "I hear you dwarves are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give 500 gold to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of extra stout back-to-back."
The room is quiet, and no one takes up the elf's offer. One dwarf even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same dwarf who left shows back up and taps the elf on the back. "Is your bet still good?" asks the dwarf.
The elf says yes and asks the pub keep to line up 10 pints of extra stout. Immediately the dwarf tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the elf sits in amazement. The elf gives the dwarf the 500 gold and says, "If you don't mind me asking, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The dwarf replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
Durin Ironshield of the iron hills pays a visit to the Elven King of Mirkwood.
"Sir", says Durin, "We have decided to go to war with ye."
The elven king looks incredulous, but takes war seriously.
"We? Who is this we?", he says sternly.
"Well, that would be me, me brother Thorin, his son Durin, our cousins Olin and Golin, and our pop Thrain."
"My good Dwarf, I have 1100 elves at my command that can be ready to move on a moment's notice.", says the king.
"Oh.", replies Durin. "Let me get back to ye on that."
The Dwarf leaves, but returns two days later.
"Ok king, I have rounded up two more cousins and we a few axes between us all."
"Sir Dwarf, I have 300 of the finest archers around, plus my royal guards are all spellsingers, armed with swords of sharpness."
"Oh, well, I see." The Dwarf lord thinks a bit. "Let me come back to ye."
And he leaves to return again in two days.
"Ok king, we have rounded up a few more swords and I think we are ready".
"You should know my good dwarf that I have since raised the size of my elven army to 1300."
"Ah fok!", and the dwarf leaves. He comes back the next day.
"Well king, I am afraid we have to call off the war."
"I am sorry to hear that. Was it the power of my elven army to changed your mind?"
"Nah, I spoke to all my kin and we decided that we just did not have the room for 1300 prisoners."
An elf is standing at a urinal when he notices that he's being watched by a dwarf. Although the little fellow is staring at him intently, the elf doesn't get uncomfortable until the dwarf drags a small step ladder up next to him, climbs it, and proceeds to admire his privates at close range.
"Wow," comments the dwarf, "those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!"
Surprised and flattered, the elf thanks the dwarf and starts to move away.
"Listen, I know this is a rather strange request," says the little fellow, "but I wonder if you would mind if I touched them."
Again the elf is rather startled, but seeing no real harm in it, he obliges the request. The dwarf reaches out, gets a tight grip on the elf's balls, and says, "Okay, hand me your platinum or I'll jump off the ladder!"
- Ringo Flinthammer
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From other threads:
The dwarf crest from the WoW credits (good catch, Widge!)
![Image](http://www.planeofhate.com/img/wow/crests/dwarf.jpg)
Hopefully Nebu will make that into a wallpaper like he did the War3 crests.
And part of the Ironforge theme music: http://download.blizzard.com/pub/WoW/Mp3s/ironforge.mp3
The dwarf crest from the WoW credits (good catch, Widge!)
![Image](http://www.planeofhate.com/img/wow/crests/dwarf.jpg)
Hopefully Nebu will make that into a wallpaper like he did the War3 crests.
And part of the Ironforge theme music: http://download.blizzard.com/pub/WoW/Mp3s/ironforge.mp3
Last edited by Ringo Flinthammer on 18 Nov 2004 12:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
- Ringo Flinthammer
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"Traditional Irish Folk Song" from Dennis Leary's "No Cure for Cancer" CD and tour. (Saw him do this at my college. Funny stuff.) Think of Khaz Modan during the days of the Second War, when the Dragonmaw Orcs ruled the nation from inside Grim Batol.
Dennis Leary wrote:They come over here
And they take all our land
They chop off our heads
And they boil them in oil
Our children are leaving
And we have no heads
We drink and we sing
And we drink and we die
We have no heads
We have no heads
They come over here
And they chop off our legs
They cut off our hands
And put nails in our eyes
O'Grady is dead
And O'Hanrahan's gone
We drink and we die
And continue to drink
O'Hanrahan
No O'Hanrahan
They buried O'Neil
Down in country Shillhame
The poor children crying
And fe dee din de
Hin fle di dinfle
Di din fle de din de
In hey bibble bibble
Hey bibble bibble
Hey fle bibble de
O'Hanrahan
No O'Hanrahan
We drink and we sing
And we drink and we sing
Hey!
We drink and we drive
And we puke and we drink
Hey!
We drink and we fight
And we bleed and we cry
Hey!
We puke and we smoke
And we drink and we die
Hey!
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The sales pitch says "fuzzy viking," but that's clearly a dwarf! Note, these products are probably not for kiddies (at least kiddies you don't want to send to the principal's office).
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/pvp/6d0f/
http://www.cafepress.com/pvp_stein.1612034?zoom=yes
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/pvp/6d0f/
http://www.cafepress.com/pvp_stein.1612034?zoom=yes
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By the gods, I want to play a Dwarf as my main so bad, but my wife is addicted to Taurens. I have been trying to sell her on a Night Elf Hunter, as her class choice seems to be the only thing that is truly non negotiable, but so far no luck.
Dwarves rock, for sure. I'll probably have to settle for shooting at you all, which is a pity, as you are such small targets. =/
Dwarves rock, for sure. I'll probably have to settle for shooting at you all, which is a pity, as you are such small targets. =/
![Image](http://www.dkpsigs.com/sigs/SilverHand/408596.jpg)
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-
- Civilian
- Posts:90
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Oh, there is no question that it would be fun to wage war against your clan, old friend. My biggest concern is that all of my former friends / message board cronies are playing Alliance -- save one (Cam). Now, I like to meet new people as much as the next guy, but the no communication "feature" in wow between rival factions needs to be removed, IMO (add languages!). In the meantime, if I can talk my wife into playing a NE (she doesn't appreciate dwarves for some reason, I will. Not so I could join Sawed-Off (I maintain no such illusion), but so that I can at least -- talk to / group with old friends, in game.
![Image](http://www.dkpsigs.com/sigs/SilverHand/408596.jpg)