Sawed Off

I've been a big fan of Widge for a long time. Good fella...or so I thought.

Today, I am sad to say, I have witnessed behaviour on his part that is completely (in my opinion) unacceptable, and I would like to officially make a vote to get him booted from the guild.

I guess you all desire to see the actual evidence. Well here it is.

Behold...AND DESPAIR!

ROFL.

Hey now, I only turned off my hat because the one that I've got is so ugly on me. Surely you can appreciate me not wanting to wear an ugly piece of headwear!

Translation: "You have a combover and I don't. Nyah nyah nyah."

I may only be clinging to the last remains of my hair, but at least I'm not BALD like some of us!

and it's NOT a combover.

In fact, as I've said, my head is FULL of vibrant, shimmering, lustrious hair that is full of body.

LOL! Poor Widge. Man, we give the guy so much grief. Me with my badgering concerning bags.. Vam is on him about hats.. it just never ends.

I've felt terrible these past few days Vamen, knowing how badly I hurt you by disrespecting the Hat. After thinking long and hard about how I could possibly make amends for my betrayal, I finally decided that I would go out in search of a hat that I would be proud to wear in public. Please, consider this image of me as I appear today as an apology to both you and all Hats everywhere.

That is a kick-ass hat.

Very cool!

Ahh, you are correct sir! It doubles as a tribute to the late but very great Johnny Carson. I actually bought the hat shortly before I'd learned of what happened... perhaps it was fate.

Hats, shoes, and pants.

<rips open the envelope and blows inside>

What are three things a Gnome should never, under any circumstances, remove in public?

(Rest in peace, Johnny.)